Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
