tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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