Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
is that a dick in a sweater?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
