You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
