IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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