How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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