so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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