Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
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Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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