On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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