Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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