I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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