last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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