i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
