Small penises have feelings too.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
