we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
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Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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