Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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