Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
