Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
