It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
