i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
