dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize