did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
