RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
3pm strippers are depressing
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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