"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
