It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
