Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
