So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
