so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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