If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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