better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
