i wish peter jackson would direct porn
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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