dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
