He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
