Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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