I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
