My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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