Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
