Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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