I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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