I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
