i just google imaged poop.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
