So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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