Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
