Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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