I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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