it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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