"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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