You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
