I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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