I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
