thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
