"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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