just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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