Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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