I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
