if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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