He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
