The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
